'24': The 24 Best Quotes

by Kim Potts, posted May 23rd 2010 5:00PM

Let's be honest: Jack Bauer is a man of action, and because of that, sometimes few words are necessary. Or, if Jack has you in the midst of one of his special brands of Jack torture, even possible. But occasionally, even the man of action, and those around him, know that it's important to use words, so, from eight seasons of '24,' here's 24 of the best quotes:

Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland), introducing the action in season 1: "I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life."
Day 1, '12:00AM-1:00AM'

Jack on why he blew the whistle on some of his fellow federal agents: "You can look the other way once, and it's no big deal, except it makes it easier for you to compromise the next time, and pretty soon that's all you're doing; compromising, because that's the way you think things are done. You know those guys I busted? You think they were the bad guys? Because they weren't, they weren't bad guys, they were just like you and me. Except they compromised. Once."
Day 1, '12:00AM-1:00AM'

Jack, uttering his favorite phrase of frustration, which he's used so frequently that it sparked a drinking game: "Damn it!"
Day 1, '3:00AM-4:00AM' (the first time Jack says it)

Jack, describing in vivid detail, how he'll carry out a torture session: "You probably don't think that I can force this towel down your throat. But trust me, I can. All the way. Except I'd hold onto this one little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest it, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. For most people it would take about a week to die. It's very painful."
Day 1, '10:00AM-11:00AM'

Jack on, ahem, dismantling a guy he'd just killed: "I'm gonna need a hacksaw."
Day 2, '8:00AM-9:00AM'

Jack, telling the evil Nina Meyers (Sarah Clarke) about his wife, Teri (Leslie Hope), who Nina had murdered: "The Sunday before you killed my wife, Teri and I went to the boardwalk in Venice, just watching all the rollerbladers and musicians, laughing at the crazy people, spending time together. And Teri sees this sno-cone stand. She giggles like a kid. She takes off running, she wants to get in line, she wants one. I remember I was watching her, I was just ... I couldn't help myself. When I look up at her, she's talking to this old lady in line behind her, and the two of them are laughing, and I'm thinking to myself, 'How the hell does she do that? How does she strike up a conversation with an absolute stranger?' And they just start laughing. Like they'd been friends forever. That's a gift. I remember thinking, 'God, I wish I could do that.' But I can't. That was Teri. My wife. That's what you took from this world, Nina. That's what you took from me and my daughter. I just wanted you to know that."
Day 2, '3:00PM-4:00PM'

Jack and Nina, discussing Teri's murder:
Nina: "It didn't have to be like this, Jack. I never meant for this to be personal."
Jack: "It felt pretty personal when you killed my wife."
Day 2, '5:00PM-6:00PM'

George Mason (Xander Berkeley), trying to talk Jack out of a suicide mission aboard an airplane with a nuclear weapon inside: "Come on, Jack, you've had a death wish ever since Teri died. The way things have been going for you the past year and a half, this probably doesn't look like such a bad idea. You get to go out in a blaze of glory, one of the greatest heroes of all time, leave your troubles behind. You still have a life, Jack. You wanna be a real hero, here's what you do: you get back down there, and you put the pieces together. You find a way to forgive yourself for what happened to your wife. You make things right with your daughter, and you go on serving your country. That'd take some real guts."
Day 2, '10:00PM-11:00PM'

Jack: "You have no idea how far I'm willing to go to acquire your cooperation."
Day 3, '7:00AM-8:00AM'

Tony Almeida (Carlos Bernard), while dealing with a difficult Chloe (Mary Lynn Rajskub): "Chloe, I'm getting real tired of your personality."
Day 3, '8:00AM-9:00AM'

Mexican drug lord Ramon Salazar (Joaquim de Almeida), on Jack's resilience: "That man has more lives than a cat."
Day 3, '9:00PM-10:00PM'

CTU honcho Bill Buchanan (James Morrison) to CTU tech whiz Chloe: "We're in an active code, Chloe. We don't have time for your personality disorder."
Day 4, '3:00AM-4:00AM'

James Heller (William Devane) to his son, Richard (Logan Marshall-Green), on Richard's anti-war beliefs: "Spare me your sixth-grade Michael Moore logic!"
Day 4, '7:00AM-8:00AM'

Secret Service agent Aaron Pierce (Glenn Morshower), showing his disgust with President Charles Logan (Gregory Itzin) by addressing him by his first name: "There is nothing you have said or done that is acceptable to me in the least. You're a traitor to this country and a disgrace to your office. And it's my duty to see that you're brought to justice for what you've done. Is there anything else, Charles?"
Day 5, '4:00AM-5:00AM'

Jack to weaselly President Logan: "Mr. Logan, I'm not going to torture you. But you're going to tell me what I want to know, or so help me, God ... I will kill you. A year and a half ago, I was warned that my life was in danger, by someone within the government. I was told the only way I could stay alive was to create the illusion that I was dead. I was forced to deceive people that I loved. My only daughter will never forgive me. As I see the depth of your corruption unfold, I have no doubt that you are that source of danger. David Palmer was a great man, and he was a great president! But he was also my friend. He tried to warn me about you, and now he is dead. Other people tried to help me, and they are dead, too. So Mr. Logan, I hope you understand ... I have absolutely nothing to lose. You are going to be held accountable for your part of everything that happened today. You are not going to be able to hide behind the presidency ... right here, right now, you are going to face justice! And make no mistake about this, this is personal. And if you think for a second that I am scared to put a bullet in your brain, you don't know me. I am going to ask you one last time. Who are your co-conspirators? You have until the count of three, or I will kill you."
Day 5, '6:00AM-7:00AM'

Martha Logan (Jean Smart) on her overdone look, before dropping her just styled face and hair into a sink full of water: "I look like a wedding cake!"
Day 5, '7:00AM-8:00AM'

Jack: "The only reason you're still conscious is because I don't want to carry you."
Day 5, '8:00AM-9:00AM'

Jack: "You're going to tell me what I want to know. It's just a question of how much you want it to hurt."
Day 5, '8:00AM-9:00AM'

Chloe, apologizing. Sorta. Or maybe not:
Chloe: "I was unfairly harsh to you a few minutes ago, I didn't mean anything."
Spencer: "Alright. Apology accepted."
Chloe: "It wasn't really an apology, it was more of an observation."
Day 5, '11:00AM-12:00PM'

Jack to Bill Buchanan, after Jack had to shoot co-worker Curtis Manning (Roger Cross): "Tell the president I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore."
Day 6, '9:00AM-10:00AM'

Jack, advising Renee Walker (Annie Wersching) on how to decide whether to follow your conscience or the rules: "You took an oath. You made a promise to uphold the law. When you cross that line, it always starts off with a small step. Before you know it, you're running as fast as you can in the wrong direction just to justify why you started in the first place. These laws were written by much smarter men than me. And in the end, I know that these laws have to be more important than the 15 people on the bus. I know that's right. In my mind, I know that's right. I just don't think my heart could ever have lived with that. I guess the only advice I can give you is... try to make choices that you can live with."
Day 7, '7:00AM-8:00AM'

Jack, in a Senate hearing about possible human rights violations by CTU: "I am more than willing to be judged by the people you claim to represent. I will let them decide what price I should pay. But please do not sit there with that smug look on your face and expect me to regret the decisions I have made. Because, sir, the truth is ... I don't."
Day 7, '8:00AM-9:00AM'

Jack, to baddie Pavel. Before gutting him:
Pavel: "Go to Hell."
Jack: "You first."
Day 8, '12:00AM-1:00AM'

MINOR SPOILER ALERT: This is uttered by Jack in the May 24 series finale, 8PM ET, on Fox:
"I would have accepted justice by law. But that was taken from me. I am judge and jury."

Source: TVSquad