Kiefer Sutherland 24 - All Kiefer...All The Time

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Saturday, May 29, 2010

Jack Bauer's 10 Craziest Kills

Jack Bauer's 10 Craziest Kills

1. Victor Drazen, Season 1: Died Between 11:00 p.m. - 12:00 a.m.
Stupid Drazen. You don't provoke Jack Bauer on purpose and live to tell about it
especially not when you run out of bullets. Duh.

2. Marshall Goren, Season 2: Died Between 8:00 a.m. - 9:00 a.m.

CTU was going to give federal witness Marshall Goren a pass for his crimes in exchange for testimony. But damnit, Jack needed a severed head for an undercover mission, and Goren just so happened to be a child pornography enthusiast. Win-win! Bonus: This scene features the quote of the season: "I'm gonna need a hacksaw."

3. Nina Meyers, Season 3: Died Between 2:00 a.m. - 3:00 a.m.

Audiences had to wait more than a year to see the traitorous Nina, who killed Jack's wife in the final hour of Season 1, finally get hers. Jack should have emptied the clip.

4. Ryan Chappelle, Season 3: Died Between 6:00 a.m. and 7:00 am

This is what you call over-relying on Jack, who was ordered to kill head of CTU Ryan Chappelle by President David Palmer in order to prevent a terrorist threat. (The President! Ordering a murder!) Chappelle asked for the dignity of being able to shoot himself, but chickened out, forcing Jack to shoot him in the back of the head.

5. Vladimir Bierko, Season 5: Died Between 5:00 a.m. - 6:00 a.m.

Ah yes, the first use of the Bauer thighs to kill. Terrorists, if you're going to immobilize Bauer, tie all of him up. You don't want him to have to use his legs.

6. Christopher Henderson, Season 5: Died between 5:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m.

Christopher Henderson recruited Jack into CTU, mentored him on how to torture (take out the knees first!). Traitor or not, you'd think he'd be a little smarter. You kill three of Jack's friends, you're going to die.

7. Unnamed Fayed Terrorist Friend, Season 6: Died Between 6:00 a.m. and 7:00 a.m.

No hands? No feet? No problem. The powerful Bauer jaws are equally deadly. So long jugular.

8. Abu Fayed, Season 6: Died Between 10:00 p.m. and 11:00 p.m.

It's not all about bullets and brute strength. Jack may not be one for fireworks, but he can be creative when he wants. Witness the death of uber-terrorist Abu Fayed, whose neck gets swaddled in chains and hung by hydraulics.

9. John Quinn, Season 7: Died Between 9:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.

A ninja-like assassin, John put up quite a fight. It took Jack, a tractor-trailer, and one well-positioned screwdriver to take him out.

10. Dana Walsh, Season 8: Died Between 11 a.m. and 12 p.m.

Renee Walker's death is the beginning of the end for Jack—and unfortunately for this season's CTU mole, Dana Walsh, he's fresh out of humanity. Assassinated minutes after she and Jack made sweet, sweet love, Renee was the third of his lovers to become a casualty of his job. Dana, though only loosely involved with Renee's death, paid the price.

Source: The Daily Beast

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